It’s weird…making decisions. Deciding who you want to be. To make that a conscious process instead of autopilot. Because frankly, auto pilot is no good.
Mistakes define us; they serve as pivotal moments where our response is everything–it’s a lesson, a truth, a defining moment. Without mistakes we would never learn anything… But there is the risk of it becoming a visible maar, a characteristic more permanent than ever meant. In ways I don’t realize my mistakes haunt & mentally block energy that keep me stagnant.
I value the past, maybe more than I should. I’m a lover of nostalgia & while it can render a vulnerbleness; I am earnest in my belief that carrying it alongside a fervent truth of will–my future will be met with gumption & heart. I’m ready to level up, take chances and chase some dreams.
Let’s do this.
In honor of Beyoncé’s recent performance at the Superbowl I thought I would share her mini-documentary, “Beyoncé: Year of 4” surrounding her latest album, which I have probably watched close to 20 times already. Whenever I’m feeling unsatisfied, useless, or lacking motivation I love to watch this video. This woman is a prime example of dedication–a concept easy to understand, but much harder to put into practice. I came to college wanting to find my voice, my purpose… as a fifth year senior I realize it’s not about finding my voice but learning how to use it.
“I feel very vulnerable when I perform a song for the first time. I may not say it, but I’m terrified… When I did Girls I was like, ‘Oh my god what am I doing? Why am I here? Why did I do this?… I like that nervousness; I don’t like it in the moment, but I know that it just means that I’m… I want it and it means that it’s challenging to me and I’m doing the right job. You can’t be too comfortable and too confident.”
And that really made me think–when was the last time I was nervous like that? When was the last time I wanted something so bad I poured everything I had into it and allowed myself to be truly vulnerable? There will always be a reason or obstacle to keep you from achieving, but if you can push past the nerves and the what ifs you might just find yourself performing a kick ass show at the Superbowl.