Find your niche

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Pieces to a puzzle

You can call me jigsaw

Find the edges, fuck a frame

Defying Newton’s law

Lots of places, tight spaces

Working hard to find the fit

Expectations, limitations

Make it hard to submit

People saying I should settle

& give up the dream

Not counting on my mental

Girl doing big things

Talk all you want, cause I ain’t fronting

Been around long enough

Lioness been hunting

Killin’ it since ’89

Yeah boy, you know me

I may fail, I might fall

But I got that degree

& I would rather be starving

To know I have that hunger

Out on the prowl

Mark of a true hunter

 

Girl can’t help it

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Silly little girl

Filled your world

You begin to unfurl

Let your feelings run away

But you knew he can’t stay

Thought you knew this by now

Yet you fallin’ somehow

Trippin’ over pretty words

Go ahead, take a bow

Mistakes here and there

A fatal love affair

Inhibition released by touch

Guess I smoked too much

Feel tricked but I got treats

Boy be making hot beats

See me runnin’ these streets

Tellin’ me I’m so sweet

Got this passion, it was heavy

But no hope of going steady

Life’s a game, so they say

And this is just foreplay

I feel like…

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I feel like a storm; rolling through the hills with thunderous booms & clashes of light.

I feel like a seesaw; the ups & downs, the weight moving me just an inch off the ground.

I feel like a banana; with a hint of green, ripe for eating but lacking flavor.

I feel like a question; that has no answer just rhetorical irony.

I feel like a candle; that can fill a room & burn for hours until my fire has no more wick.

I feel like a plant; needing trimmed so I can have the chance to regrow.

I feel like a little girl; with big dreams and a blank canvas to paint them on.

24 is the new 19

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Slightly jaded, wide eyed, and ready for something new…

The factory line of success isn’t the same anymore. No longer is the guarantee of a college degree, the social disgrace of divorce or the picturesque American dream.

I dream of living debt free, of having insurance and reliable transportation, of a job I don’t completely hate, of traveling and seeing the world… I tried following the formula and I’m realizing I’m back where I started fresh out of high school–slightly jaded, wide eyed, ready for something new….

Don’t get me wrong, I want a family. I want a husband. I want a career. I want the American dream.

But then again, I’ve seen it in action. We all have, haven’t we? We see our parents, our grandparents, our elders, our teachers, our bosses, our aunts and uncles all go out and try to accomplish it in one way or another. And I’d be crazy if I didn’t reconsider this factory line way of life after everything I’ve seen.

What if instead of worrying about trying to get into an institution we will be indebted to for the next 20 years, we worried about living? Taking advantage of our youth; traveling, discovering, making mistakes, going out on ventures, exploring our talents, feeding our souls? Maybe instead of being scared into the story of life we’ve been fed our wholes lives, we would dare to live differently?

It’s never too late to change the narrative and it starts with yourself.

24 is a second chance for me to do what I should have done in the first place. I want to live in the moment, love truly, learn from my mistakes, take risks, question the guarantees, and build my own system of success.

Who Run The World

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In honor of Beyoncé’s recent performance at the Superbowl I thought I would share her mini-documentary, “Beyoncé: Year of 4” surrounding her latest album, which I have probably watched close to 20 times already. Whenever I’m feeling unsatisfied, useless, or lacking motivation I love to watch this video. This woman is a prime example of dedication–a concept easy to understand, but much harder to put into practice. I came to college wanting to find my voice, my purpose… as a fifth year senior I realize it’s not about finding my voice but learning how to use it.

“I feel very vulnerable when I perform a song for the first time. I may not say it, but I’m terrified… When I did Girls I was like, ‘Oh my god what am I doing? Why am I here? Why did I do this?… I like that nervousness; I don’t like it in the moment, but I know that it just means that I’m… I want it and it means that it’s challenging to me and I’m doing the right job. You can’t be too comfortable and too confident.”

And that really made me think–when was the last time I was nervous like that? When was the last time I wanted something so bad I poured everything I had into it and allowed myself to be truly vulnerable? There will always be a reason or obstacle to keep you from achieving, but if you can push past the nerves and the what ifs you might just find yourself performing a kick ass show at the Superbowl.