Girl can’t help it

Standard

Silly little girl

Filled your world

You begin to unfurl

Let your feelings run away

But you knew he can’t stay

Thought you knew this by now

Yet you fallin’ somehow

Trippin’ over pretty words

Go ahead, take a bow

Mistakes here and there

A fatal love affair

Inhibition released by touch

Guess I smoked too much

Feel tricked but I got treats

Boy be making hot beats

See me runnin’ these streets

Tellin’ me I’m so sweet

Got this passion, it was heavy

But no hope of going steady

Life’s a game, so they say

And this is just foreplay

About a boy

Standard

There’s something different about this boy

Got me feelin’ like Helen of Troy

He has style with a classic grace

In his finger tips when he grasps my face

An old soul groovin’ to a fresh beat

My favorite place is tangled in my sheets

His laugh, his smile, he’s got these eyes

That see right through, got me hypnotized

But more than that, I feel seen

No longer stuck in between

That feeling of whether it’s real or not

Because no matter what this man was brought

Into my life under the strangest of chances

And the simplest things, he enhances

At the very least my heart is on fire

He is the spark made to inspire

#warmenough

Standard

I tried to do good by you 

Ya never knew what I been through

Nod ya head, pretend just right

Then casually forget during a fight

Nothing comes easy, not even a choice

& priority one was finding my voice

Stuck in a whirlwind of cyclical dances

Path less traveled worth my chances

Summertime

             Skylines

Dancing off the tongue 

Sometime 

            My mind

Is a song unsung

Can’t know what u don’t see

& u ain’t trying to know me

My spirit left unkept 

Like a wild mane except

The parts kept inside

For the soul to confide 

This wandering heart of mine

        its’ fervent, honest way

Makes it hard to remember

        don’t trust a word u say

A word on relationships…

Standard

In the past two days, I’ve been approached by three friends with relationship woes seeking advice. At the heart of their very different situations I found one overarching theme–breakdown in communication. My conclusion is such:

  • 1. Remember that everyone shares differently. Some people prefer face-to-face contact, others texting or a phone call. There are those who are more passive-agressive and expect their loved one to read between the lines. Everyone grows up learning to express themselves differently. It requires patience, understanding & a willingness to try different approaches. Write a letter, set aside time to discuss any issues, make an effort to step outside your comfort zone in order to gain perspective. Sometimes the clearest message comes from simple actions.
  • 2. If a relationship is not working despite best efforts, be realistic about eachother. Sure, people can change bad habits, or try to appease their partner by working on issues–but at the end of the day there will be characteristics you must accept or walk away from. This is one of the hardest things to do, but most crucial. It won’t be a black & white moment. There will always be things you love about someone, but if the things you are struggling with are things down the road that will be an issue, it’s time to think about going your separate ways. 
  • 3.  Just because you are in love with someone, doesn’t mean they are the right person for you. At the basis of every great relationship, is a strong friendship. This can make the idea of a breakup seem unbearable, losing someone who was more than a lover. It’s comes down to realization that you aren’t right in the long run for eachother. I’ve always believed we are meant to have more than one soulmate. Different people come into our lives at just the right time. Someone might have been perfect throughout highschool, college, your first big-girl job, but when it comes time for you personally to move forward, they are something you have to leave behind. Change isn’t easy and being single has it’s moments, but with a little self discovery and reassessment of your goals; you’d be surprised how okay you will begin to feel. 

Gypsy Love

Standard

We met when I was a baby, only 19
Running around with a fake ID
My mantra was live care free & reckless
Every night in a different sundress 
That night we made out, a twisted allegory
For a question mark saved, became a funny story
One day we got down, passion was heavy
Kept it going for awhile, coulda been going steady 
Not one to be tied down, so I kept it moving 
Altho many times I regret not proving
Why I was a girl worth playing for keeps
But I was young n scared to take big leaps
Then one day it became so clear
You were the guy I longed to be near 
Your style, that smile, and gypsy eyes
Made me wanna be a girl u considered a prize
Not because I thought I needed to change
But to match your power and change the game
You’re guarded with walls of immense height
And I’m stubborn enough to try and fight
My way into your circle and gain trust 
I know I might fail, this may only be lust
But one thing I know for certain is how I feel
Something I’ve struggled to conceal
So fuck it, here it is, layed out on the table
I like you, I want you, a love left unlabeled 

The Preventative Perspective

Standard

A few days ago I received a phone call from my little sister, beyond desolate about her breakup with her boyfriend. They lived several hours apart and had been dating for a few months, but in that short amount of time my sister had drank the koolaid and fallen in love.

Now I don’t care what, who, or why a man dumps you, there are some sure-fire ways to respond that will at the very least help keep you sane and maintain perspective.

1. If a man walks out of your life, do not chase him!! Sure, you could try talking him out of it, or try showing him why you both are destined to be together… but are you going to do that every time he has a doubt about something? Hell no, ain’t nobody got time for that–especially you!!

2. Remember that nothing is permanent until death. Just because your partner leaves you, it does not always mean goodbye forever. Now, he very well may never come back or want anything with you again… men generally don’t break up with a girl out of nowhere and there is usually a premeditated plan of escape or waiting for an opportune moment for “the talk.” Keeping this in mind, he definitely will not come back because of guilt or your ability to make him see how much he is losing. These are realizations he MUST have on his own.

3. THE PREVENTATIVE PERSPECTIVE: The medical world is mostly concerned with treating symptoms. What are the symptoms of a breakup? Anger, self-doubt, insecurity, depression, and so on… I say instead of dealing with the symptoms, do everything in your power to PREVENT them! It all lies in perspective… In any situation whether you’re having a fight, breaking up, or dealing with a challenging situation it is always best to remain optimistic. Stay positive and remember that this is not the time to burn a bridge when emotions are running high; this is simply what the person you care about wants and needs right now. However, if you are determined to be upset and have a pitty party, then there is a very slim chance of things ending well. But if you choose to realize a closed door isn’t the end of the world or your love life—the sooner you walk through the next door.

4. When entering a relationship, be geared with a preventative perspective and handle situations with GRACE. In the case of being dumped–if you act crazy, get super emotional, beg and plead, or act like it’s the end of the world, you are only CONFIRMING HIS DECISION. As hard as it may seem, play it cool. Express yourself in a calming matter—you will want to be shitty, petty, inflict the pain this breakup is causing you back onto him—DON’T DO IT! Now, if you could care less by all means unleash however you would like. But if this breakup is happening and you genuinely love this person, give them what they are asking for… if it’s time, space, or they say they don’t feel the same way give them an opportunity to figure out their feelings.

5. Stay busy; hang out with friends, exercise and workout the frustration, start a project you’ve put off, reorganize your stuff, take this time to reflect on your life. Do not check his facebook profile. Do not text him. Do not try to talk to his friends or find ways of “subtly” throwing reminders of your relationship into his life. Remove yourself—this is the most powerful move you have. If he wants a breakup, give him one. One with no dramatics, no little reminders, or “you’ll see what you’re missing”—don’t even let him see. MAKE HIM WONDER, GIVE HIM MYSTERY. Don’t let him know you miss him, don’t let him know how broken you feel. You will want to hear from him, to know this isn’t easy for him… Trust me, men have emotions too and often deal with it PRIVATELY as should you. Any public displays or attempts of communicating to win him back will only push him farther away. This is the hardest part… you feel that doing nothing will lead to nothing and I promise it is the opposite. For some reason, they always come back just never in your timing, which is what gets women tripping.

All of this is easier said then done, but if you can keep calm and collected, maintain a positive perspective of the situation, and stay busy bettering yourself things will go much more smoothly.